Arc Welding A Cherry

Girls, you know those orgasms where your toes are still tingling three minutes later?

Yeah those. Unf.

Dear Russia:

Your women are too attractive for you to have such absurd opinions about homosexuality. Please leave the gay people alone so that I get with this hot chick I met in Moscow.

Sincerely,

Your biggest fan who also has some serious issues with your policies

HA THAT’S IRONIC WOW

Today in Brazil it is International Women’s Orgasm Day, which is fucking funny because I just restarted Lexapro (an anxiety med) which has rendered me virtually incapable of orgasming. Hopefully that disappears soon, but yeah, sorry Brazil, I will not be celebrating today.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/cosmo-latina/blog/international-female-orgasm-day

"I really don’t know what ‘I love you’ means. I think it means ‘Don’t leave me here alone.’" -Neil Gaiman

Reading Freud and Thinking About Sex

-nerd alert here we go-

So I just read this in Civilization and its Discontents: “I know that in sadism and masochism we have always seen before us manifestations of the destructive instinct (directed outwards and inwards), strongly alloyed with erotism; but I can no longer understand how we can have overlooked the ubiquity of non-erotic aggressivity and destructiveness and can have failed to give it its due place in our interpretation of life.”

 And it made me think. Is my interest in BDSM and kinky shit a manifestation of my repressed instincts towards aggression and violence? And you know what? I think it is! I think it’s like what I say about violent video games. Sometimes, I want to punch someone in the face. But I don’t, because I’m a member of civilized society and I could get hurt and assault charges are a bitch, etc etc. So instead I go play a video game that involves me punching someone in the face, watch a movie with lots of guns, or play a D&D character that likes to give people sword implants right through the eyes. So now I think I’m adding “or I go beat up on my boyfriend a little, since he likes it” to that list. Heh.

"If by sobering up, I had to live the rest of my life resisting a powerful urge to drink, like I was on some kind of fad diet, I would kill myself. Or just drink, because it is easier."

, http://www.xojane.com/issues/how-not-to-be-a-dick-to-your-recovering-alcoholic-friend

You know, this is actually one of the more helpful things I’ve read about sobriety lately. Blah blah blah one day at a time my sobriety is a gift okay, not overwhelming me with comfort here. But yeah, she has a point. It has to get easy because that would never fly otherwise. You would think I of all people would understand that. There are a lot of things that you would think I would understand, but I don’t. I guess that’s just how this goes.

Game of Thrones Sex Tip 29

agameofsextips:

When you reach climax, shout “I am Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen! The Blood of Old Valyria! I am the Dragon’s daughter, and I swear to you, that those who would harm you will die screaming!“ 

this almost isn’t funny because of the number of times i’ve thought about doing this

When I first thought of Stoya/James Deen as a ship, I thought it was kind of funny. Like “ahaha yeah, it is kind of like a ship lulz”

No it’s a thing. You can ship porn stars. And the best part is that rather than all those suckers who have to draw their own Spirk and just wait for those innuendo moments of Destiel, I get to watch James Deen and Stoya fuck each other’s brains out any time I like. Yuss.